Alvaro Martínez is a young content creator from Spain which writes content on his spare time and greatly enjoys every day he gets to share with the automotive community
(warning: LONG rant ahead)
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Small, quick, nimble… those are the main defining characteristics of any motorcycle you can encounter on the road. Motorcycles as well have certain advantages like reduced maintenance costs, you can nearly park anywhere… But today I’m not addressing their positive qualities over the negative qualities of a car, today I’ll be speaking about a pandemic that has been plaguing motorcycle users all around the world.
I don’t know where it all began, but all I know is that this curious disease often begins the second a biker installs on their helmet a Gopro mount. The second they pull out of the garage with it, they no longer become a reasonable person… a racing jumpsuit grows over their skin, the visor of their helmet grows opaque and reflective… And their motorcycle becomes a crotch rocket with MotopGP stickers.
Last but not less important… they set off aggressively out of their driveway with boiling anger bubbling inside their bodies, determined to knock down the mirrors of whoever slightly inconveniences them on their countrywide racetrack with absolute disregard for common sense.
The problem.
I’m certainly familiar with the fact that 4 wheels are tougher than 2, as well to care for my blind angles and look twice before doing anything. Even then, this won’t exactly save you from any motorcycle driver treating the road like a racetrack. Specially if they urgently need content for their YT channel. (Since driving calmly and seeking no trouble gives no views)
Most justify their GoPro illness saying “If they don’t use the mirror why they need them?!” before smashing them to bits in a fit of childish anger, soon hitting the gas and fleeing the scene touting themselves as brave knights of the road… that until the day a crazy enough victim chases them down and the biker is inevitably going to experience “FAAFO” (fuck around and find out)
I’ve never understood that NEED to treat roads like a MotoGP track, much less that burning desire to SEEK trouble with whoever causes them the slightest of inconveniences. I’ve gone on spirited drives with my local car club and NEVER felt rage for the slightest of inconveniences even if some were genuinely angering (like nearly getting rear ended). And trust me… we REALLY need to reflect on this.
I’ll never understand what’s so entertaining of watching someone complain nonstop for 10min about the slightest of mistakes, their lifes… as they cruise on a passing lane impeding traffic, I understand how enraging it can be to see someone on their phone or getting cut off. But trust me! There’s far better ways to deal with it!
I never lined up next to a truck and overreved the nuts out of my car to call them out, never went out of my way to brake check slow drivers or smash mirrors. A simple honk or a lights flash and I continue on my merry way without waiting for a reaction, At this point I’m starting to believe that being patient is no longer a trend. That we have devolved into childish rage the second we install a Gopro in our helmets.
The terrible consequences of the Gopro Epidemic?
Remember the Roni Gonzalez incident in Florida? Ron the biker on this video illegally filtered through lanes and this seemingly angered the driver of the Ford Fusion who overtook him back aggressively, most of us would have wisely put some distance between the Ford driver and ourselves right? You just don’t stick near a nutjob willingly.
Well, Ron decided to come back and smack the mirror of the Ford. Likely seeking YouTube content for clicks and likes… Instead the classic “Smash n’run” resulted in a race for his life. The Ford Fusion driver began to chase him aggressively forcing Ron to drive at high speeds into oncoming lanes endangering other innocent motorists, not even looking in front of himself to minimize risks… keeping the camera pointed at his source of content.
Luckily there was no fatalities to regret here and both drivers got arrested, but… see what I’m talking about when I named this plague Gopro illness? Any level headed person would’ve gotten the hint the first time that the driver of the car is clearly a nutjob and would have backed away and called police.
Instead the sufferer of the disease seeks the confrontation via property destruction for video content and as soon it backfires… He can’t help but regret it deeply as it has the opposite effect. Ron could’ve gotten shot, rammed off the road… would it be worth it for that gray tumour on his helmet and the online gratification?
Mark my advice, since this will completely prevent the effects of this ailment.
- GoPro+helmet+Motorcycle→Error! (leave the GoPro at home!)
- Respect traffic laws, roads are NOT racetracks. drive CAREFULLY and AWARE.
- NEVER assault or harass other drivers. You’ll never know who’s behind the wheel or if they are crazy… NEVER STICK AROUND!
Have you ever been infected by this terrible disease or been bitten by a sufferer of this modern disease? Let me know in the comments below!
*The article poster does not excuse or justify road rage in any way.
I LOVE THIS RANT”At this point I’m starting to believe that being patient is no longer a trend.” THIS.
Also, I live in SW Virginia. This is an open carry state which means you can openly carry a gun on your hip or hands just not concealed without a permit to do so. This crotch rocket rider DEFINITLY would have been shot here. No questions … full stop. As a result, this doesn’t happen here. Yes, I hear them routinely on the stretch of highway near my place. It’s four lanes and unpoliced for three exits for odd reasons. It’s a racetrack for them. Well, every once in a while it doesn’t go as planned for the riders. Unmarked cars now sit for them. Drivers take care of them and whatever is left have to worry about getting shot. So yes, I hear them but it’s quick because they know they can’t mess around too hard. That’s city. Let’s talk about Virginia State Troopers. You can’t outrun them. They have radar detector detectors because detectors are illegal. Planes, drones, unmarked, and no lights in the dark – they WILL GET YOU.
Let’s talk about Florida and Ron. First of all, Florida. I can stop right there as anyone who knows Florida knows the score. For those of you who do not … it’s the cesspool of the worst types of people in the US. It’s the state where molesters go to live when they can’t live anywhere else. Its where old people go to rot out there last days. It’s ugly undereducated people who are insistent that they know everything. Finally, yes, Florida has rednecks but down in the swamp they are a special type of redneck that even rednecks don’t like!! So, it’s no surprise that Ron and his driver counterpart live in that state. It’s one of the worst in the US and personally I cannot wait for it to sink beneath the waves as sea levels rise. I will find only joy when that day comes. Truly.
GoPro …. Great idea. Unfortunately, once in the hands of a man-child, it can be the catalyst for insanity for the sake of viewing pleasure. That’s truly insane. “Hold my beer and watch this”.